Things are getting better, slowly, for all of us. It still feels wrong to go back to our ordinary lives, even though that's exactly what we need to do. I feel guilty, like it means that I'm forgetting, like I'm tryting to act like nothing tragic happened. It's not true, of course, but I can't help the way I feel.

We went out for a few drinks with my brother last night. Meagan joined us because she didn't want to be home alone. I don't blame her a bit. We actually had a really nice time and I think it helped her to talk about Jordan, and laugh and live. She stayed the night on our couch and I made us all a big breakfast this morning. I feel so helpless watching her grieve, I wish I knew what to do or say. Either she thinks I'm doing and saying the right things already, or she just appreciates that I'm trying. Whichever one it is, I'm glad that we can be here for her, even if we don't know what we're doing.